Your Next Steps

Man! I wish it was this easy.

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.  Proverbs 16:2 ESV

In other words, you might think you are justified in your actions but God knows your motives.

In a time where people are scrutinized for their decisions all day long this little verse brings with it some sense of justice and peace.

We watch the news and see politicians get reamed for their choices.  Local government officials are judged not by outcomes but by proposals of intent.  Neighbors are looked down on for whatever affronts they are causing you.  Your boss earns your condemnation whenever he says something to you that you don’t like.  And let’s not forget what your saying about your spouse behind their back.

In all of these situations we are judging the intent of a man.  This is a hard thing not to do, isn’t it?  I know that I have sinned (wronged) against people a multiple of times by doing this.  Bottom line is this.  I cannot know the intent of some one’s heart, only God does. Whenever I allow my anger to rise up I buy back into that old way of thinking as in, “I can’t believe they are doing this to me!?”  I haven’t even seen the outcome of the decision but I am quick to get all hostile about it.  I am pathetic…

Here’s why I refuse to keep sucking at this.  God says,

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;”  Luke6:37 ESV

I mean all through the scripture we get the same warning.  Don’t do it unless you want the same set of standards placed on you.  You see, that’s where it gets me every time.  God tells me in that little voice in my  head, “Do you really want me holding you to the same set of ridiculous standards you hold everyone else?”  And I’m like, “Um , nope.”  So then I am off and asking for forgiveness….. Again…

At the end of the day God knows the intent of men.  We can’t hide it from Him.  There is also a sense of peace that comes with this.  When you believe that God is truly sovereign (I mean that He is in control of everything and we will be discussing what you think is free will in the future) that everything works for and according to His purposes.  You will also find that fact a couple of more times in the same chapter 16 of Proverbs where we find that verse at the top of the page.

Must be a reason why God had it written that way.  Probably to get us to stop being a cry baby about perceived wrongs because He might have even wanted it that way.  DOH! Now how’s that make you feel?  Yep, there’s something to be said about being slow to anger…

Small Group Critique #2:

Liked this pic from Edinborough, Scotland - I will visit the homeland someday.

Know when to take a break. Everyone gets busy in their lives.  Sometimes people don’t want to come over and just do another Bible study.  I think many of us would just love to hang out with fellow believers and try to figure out this thing we call life.  Put your feelers out.  If you have a bunch of tired-looking folks, don’t be afraid to break away from the plans.  Care for your peeps by ministering through the lost act of fellowship.

Here’s a working definition of fellowship:

Things to keep in mind when attempting to fellowship with your people:

• Do it over food.  Food is the recognized drug of choice to help people feel better.  There ain’t (I know it’s not a proper word but I like it) nothing like getting together and talking over food.  It will help raise your serotonin levels while you share about your life.
• Add games when you can.  We don’t do this enough in our world.  Life is already too serious.  Laughing and playing together allows people to see the  common interests in their lives.
• Make sure the environment is comfortable.  Yeah, I know we’re not suppose to care what the house looks like but others do.  During this time of hanging out you don’t want people checking out your house which makes them and you uncomfortable.  If that’s not an option pick neutral territory.
• You can combine Bible study and food.  It’s two great tastes that taste great together. (I didn’t steal that).
• Put it on the calendar, and make it a regular occurrence, so that people will look forward to it.

God reveals Himself to others through scriptures AND through relationships.  Safe Christian relationships are the practice field for the mission field in the real world.  These relationships are developed through purposeful fellowship times.  Take the time to plan and respond to the needs of your group.

“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,”      Acts 2:46 NIV

If you know anything about the early church – this was one of the few things they got to enjoy…the fellowship with other believers.

Small Group Critique #1

Know when to shut up. – As an ex-teacher I know that there is always the potential for a group leader to go rambling off on something they have learned or experienced.  I still lead groups and it is always a constant struggle for me to shut up and practice listening.  If we practice more listening and less talking we will find the common beliefs within the group and possibly help someone.  I’m not saying don’t share, just be conscious that group growth comes from group talk not leader talk.

Here’s what I mean.

• When you are introducing a lesson that’s your time to set up the conversation for the day.  Get what you need to say out of the way.  Then, sit back and listen.
• Practice asking open ended questions.  That means questions that produce conversation; “What do you think about that?”  “When has this happened to you before?”  “Where do you see this happening in your life?” etc.  We need to ‘see’ the thought processes.
• Notice how others react.  Did you see someone smile?  Was Betty Lou raising an eyebrow? Why does John keep checking his watch every time his wife talks?  This is another great way to get others involved in discussion.  Ask them what those actions mean.  Just be prepared for this is when it usually starts to get interesting.

At the end of a good group time most of the people should have felt like they contributed to the time.  As a leader it is our job to be the facilitator of these moments of biblical community.  People will grow closer to each other, which is what we want, when they get the opportunity to talk to each other in sincere ways.

Warning though…  This is does lead to confrontation sometimes.  That’s ok.  Confrontation is what causes us to doubt what we have always believed.  This opens us up to new ways of looking at sin in our lives.

This does not happen when we teach all the time.  Our verbal diarrhea let’s people hide behind their mask of quietness.

Practicing the art of knowing when to speak and knowing when to shut up takes time.  It can be frustrating (especially for us know it all people) but like any skill you will get better with time.

By the way.  If you need an outlet for teaching/talking try blogging.  Why do you think I am writing this?

A long time a go there was a woman named Hannah.  She worked hard at being a good wife and home builder.  She did her share chores and loved her husband.  But there was a problem.  She couldn’t bear children.  In the Israelite culture ,1100 s BC, it was a travesty if a woman couldn’t have kids especially male children.  The line would die out and so in that culture a family was counted blessed if you had sons.  Almost, as if God favored you more.

She also had to live with the thought that she shared her husband with another wife that, could have children!?  Talk about adding insult to injury.  The fact is, in the scriptures, it said that her hubby loved her more that the other.  Um, maybe he shouldn’t have married the other woman?  Ok I digress but that’s a topic for another day.   Guys don’t get any ideas…

Well she travels with old faithful, ahem, to the temple for one of the Jewish feasts (probably the feasts of Tabernacle) and listen to her prayers while there.

“O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”                                                                   1 Samuel 1:11 ESV

Would you believe it if I told you she goes home and gets pregnant?  So I imagine that the little promise pops up in her head and now she’s probably thinking, “How am I going to get out of this?”

Well, we couldn’t be more wrong…

After she weens him off of her milk she takes him to the temple.  Back then that was like three years.  No it’s not gross they didn’t have stores with pasteurized milk or formula in cans.  She drops him off at the temple and tells the high priest his name is Samuel which means possibly “offspring of God”  and leaves him.  Whoa!

I wonder how many of us parents are willing to give up a child, even to God himself? Unfortunately, if we say we can’t, then that shows how much we truly hold to the thought of God is sovereign and owns everything anyway.

Really, raising kids to the glory of God has nothing about your desires to love them it has to do with the ability to sacrifice your need for confirmation from them.  Let me put it this way.  Sometimes we need our kids more that they need us.  We use them for emotional stability. I know that I’ve done this.  If you are honest I think you’d say you’ve probably done the same thing.

Would you be willing to give God your child if it was a promise to Him no matter the emotional pain?  The answer will tell you a lot about yourself, your belief in God and your emotional stability.  Try and answer…

I found this add in my wife’s, ‘ahemmm’, magazine Southern Living.  What you can’t see in the small print is that teen age girls that eat at the table with their families 5 nights a week are 33% less likely to develop an eating disorder.  Now I am not sure the source of this statistic but to publish something boldly like that it probably is not far off.  So moms and dads, what type of focus do you put on dinner time?

There are several reasons that come to mind why this might have an affect.

• You are showing your children that dinner is the time to enjoy your food and not worry about how many calories you’re eating.  It is the reward yourself time at the end of the day.
• When combining food with family relationships (when they aren’t strained) they both help build on the other.  That is to say if you are eating when you are feeling content from being around family you will have a better view of your food.  And eating food that taste good helps you stomach your family a little better.                                                                                                                                                                                             
• Evening meal time is traditionally the place where the family shares how their day was.  Dad gets to practice leading his family in conversations that help them cope with the world.  Dads you are the protectors of your family, you need to put them at ease and empower them for the next day.  It’s also a great place to celebrate the accomplishments of everyone.
• As far as practicality you can make good healthy meals which add to good food choices in the future.  This starts with your planning the week’s menu out ahead of time.  Show your kids how to eat right.

All in all, good eating habits take work and so does raising kids in a God fearing home.  I think that statistic is a little scary.  It is well worth our effort to make the evening meal the best it can be for ourselves and our kids.

Anyone have any good dinner ideas?