You gotta hear this!!!
So what were you thinking about when you read the title?
Maybe you were thinking I was going to tell you about some cool revelation God was sharing with me. Or I might want to share with you the latest on the family scene. Maybe even some cool news from around here at the Leaf? Although, if truth be told, I bet a lot of you started thinking I had a secret to share with you. SSSSHHHH!
Maybe some little tidbit of information about someone that you and I both know. Yeah, I bet that’s it. We can’t help it. There is this desire within all of us to be all up in other people’s business.
According to the scriptures this is called GOSSIP. And God looks at it as SIN. Let’s push a little further…
Some of you, I know because I’ve heard it, just have this need to vent about someone. OK, I understand that but let’s make a little distinction between the two.
- Venting – Helps you process out problems and usually you don’t have to mention someone by name to discuss it. There is a recognition by you of having harsh feelings and there is a seeking out of wise counsel on your part to confront sin in your or someone else’s life…
- Gossip – Information that is told to help you feel better about yourself and you like to drop names. It helps with your self-esteem by sharing secrets/information about others. It becomes an act of comparison. In the worst case scenario you are sharing with someone with the intent to make yourself look better while defacing someone else…
Let’s push a little further…
Gossip up front looks like you having a discussion with a friend over the events of the day. I mean, it is always about someone right? When was the last time you just talked about yourself? When was the last time you asked how someone was doing and actually listened to what they were saying? Gossip is busy chatter. It wastes time. So if you have been talking a while about other people and there has been no revelations about anyone then that would be your clue that this could be gossip…
Gossip in nature is destructive for other people because you are slandering someones name. But look at what the scripture says about the effects on the gossiper and the listener.
“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” Prov. 18:8 NIV
That is to say, you begin to consume the words that you are saying or hearing like good food. It begins to sustain you. You live for the next bit of juicy info that might make you happy. At this point it has become like a bad habit and you can’t stop. Now you are wasting time talking about others instead of sharing with people about God. You are wasting time looking for your next hit of news instead of caring for those involved in these stories. You’re wasting time probing people for info and calling around being a pushy, nosy, busy-body.
YOU ARE WASTING TIME!
Lastly, and I hate to say this, just like men are more prone to be involved in the sin of pride I see ladies having more of a problem in this area. Now please don’t hate the messenger but I think I know why.
Women are so much more prone to love and nurture than men are. As men we don’t understand this. We don’t always get that empathy thing for others. But here is the trap. Since they are prone to be involved with people, talking about others becomes a part of your every day life. You can’t get away from it. Just like any other sin what starts out as innocent becomes a full blown addiction of gossip where we hide under the appearance of helping others while all we are doing is looking for the next bit of information “morsel” that would satisfy us.
Funny thing though, sin never satisfies….
P.S. For the record let it be known I have caught myself gossiping as well. It’s not just a ‘ladie’s’ thing. So guys don’t get on your high horse
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March 24th, 2010 at 4:28 PM
Everyone knows it isn’t gossip as long as you preface it with, “We need to be praying for ______ because I heard _______________________________.”
March 25th, 2010 at 8:18 AM
This really hit home for me. I absolutely CAN NOT STAND gossip!! Yet, I am faced with it EVERYDAY!!! As a teacher, I work around a bunch of gossipping, complaining, nagging women. (That isn’t gossip because I didn’t mention names….right?) LOL. I just consider it the cold hard TRUTH! I not only ask you guys to pray for those that I work with, but pray for me as well. I tend to isolate myself from the crowd because I don’t want to be a part of it. I know that what I should do is to say something that would stop it. But, I don’t want to make others upset with me. I can’t help it, it’s just my nature. If any one has any suggestions on some things that I could say to make some people stop the gossip and complaining without being offensive to them, I am listening.
March 25th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
Sherry, I can definitely understand your stance. I was in the school system for 11 years. Not everyone is a gossiper but man it seems like everyone knows each other’s business.
As to how you can handle it here’s what I think.
* You have to be a friend to some of these people in order to gain the right, through relationships, to say to them, “I don’t think we should do this.”
* In that relationship you are actually being the ‘salt and light’ of the earth.
* Gossiping will go down by you being a channel for the Spirit. People get convicted being in the presence of God.
* Lastly, as you mentioned I have prayed for you and your situation.
Go be the light:).
March 25th, 2010 at 1:51 PM
I think most gossipy workplace I ever had was when I worked at a department store during college. Every lunch and break was complete gossip fest.
Sherry,
I agree with Jody’s suggestions, but I’d also say that a good tool is to simply cut the gossip off and say something like, “I don’t have a need for this information, so I’d rather not hear it because I don’t want to gossip.” If you say something like that a time or two, you can be certain that you’ll be out of the gossip loop (though maybe in as a topic!)
Like all sin, if we take a serious stand against gossip, the world won’t understand and will become angry and take offense. As the bible says in 1 John 3:13: “Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you.” As Jesus said to his disciples, “If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” If we are willing to live a godly life, we must be prepared to be hated by the world. In that sense, we probably can’t forsake the sin of gossip until we are prepared to offend our unbelieving friends.
Please don’t take this as condescension. I love gossip as much as the next person, but reading your post really challenged me to confront that sin much more seriously in my own life.
March 25th, 2010 at 2:06 PM
I really do appreciate both of you for your suggestions and feed back. I know what I need to do, I just struggle with it. Josh, you made such a good point. I know that if I take a stance, I will become the TOPIC of the gossip, and I just have to accept that. I have taken minor steps though. For instance, just today I was put in a situation where this lady was gossipping and passing judgement on someone else’s actions. I was very nice about it, but I just said, “Well, I know what it looks like, but it’s not my place to judge her.” The lady that was talking to me about it saw that I didn’t want to take part in that, and she just simply said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe it’s not what it seems.” That pretty much ended that conversation.
Jody, I can tell you prayed for me today. Or at least somebody did. You two are the only ones who I have even spoken to about this. I have another speech/language teacher that comes into my classroom and we co-teach writing. We were talking about idioms today. One of the examples that she used to the kids was the idiom “My dog is not in that fight.” She was telling them that if someone was having a conflict, we use this idiom to show that we don’t want to be a part of it. How coincidental is that? I think God led her to say that to speak to me. That is one idiom that I think we ALL need to use a little more.
Thank you both for your prayers and suggestions!