This Easter has been a little different for me. There have been some new things that have been added to my life. Some things that have changed my perspective on the world.

For example, this is the first year that my daughter gets to celebrate Easter as a Christian. We get to experience this weekend together. We have gone through the past few days talking about what “her” Lord would have been experiencing. It’s a neat time because she is understanding the sacrifice for her.

This is also our first Easter with Charlee. We thought we wouldn’t have any more children, then she came along. Seriously, we couldn’t get pregnant. We came to a point where we were ok with whatever and that is exactly when Heather got pregnant, right around a year ago. Our God is good. I think He just waits sometimes for us to calm down and be ok with “just” Him. I think in those moments you are able to receive a blessing from God and appreciate it. You weren’t even asking for it but you got it anyway. It is like receiving the gift of Faith because of grace. Which brings me to my last point….

This last part will sound weird for some of you but I am going to explain some things that I have been going through this year. You see I am a recovering evangelical traditional churchgoer. That is to say that the gospel (that means good news about Jesus) was explained in a way that messed me up for many years. I was taught that after you accepted Jesus and asked for forgiveness of your sins that to keep in God’s good graces you had to be good. That means the better you behave the more God loves you.

Many of you just reacted to what I said differently. Some of you didn’t even blink an eye when you read that. Some of you know that doesn’t sound quite right but if you started looking at your life closely you would be able to see the evidence of this same thinking. Lastly, some of you felt anger. You have been there and now you are free.

I am with you now….

I started a journey almost 5 years ago now where in becoming a pastor, I knew I was dealing with some messed up thinking. At last, my expensive education to become a therapist was getting used. :)   I started realizing that I was upset way too much with myself and I shouldn’t be. I was trying too much to please God and I always felt like I let Him down. I knew that I was changed, I was a joint-heir to the kingdom of God, He was my friend, that there was no more wrath against me but there was still something wrong. It drove me crazy!

By the way, before I go further, that is exactly where God wants you. He loves it when you are desperate for Him because He shows up. Remember what I said about Charlee. I was ready and knew I couldn’t fix it myself. It was at this point that God CONVERTED me.

Here is what I realized this year in the course of a few months where God kept showing me what was wrong.

  1. I can’t make God love me more.  The sacrifice of the Son is ultimate love; there is nothing greater.
  2. My works are an expression of love.  They are not done to get love.
  3. I finally could look in the mirror and say, “I am a good man,” and believe it.  Not because of what I am doing but because of what was given to me by Jesus.

The fact that I accepted this now meant something.  God had finally opened my eyes to it.  I had received a gift of faith that was not based in works.  I can’t tell you how many times I have read this;

8 For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-9 not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8,9 NIV

I have heard this over and over again.  It was sitting there right in front of me.  To have been blind to this fact for sooooo long is frustrating.  But it is the same reason that I appreciate what I now have.  Let me explain briefly, I know that this is long already.

I finally realized I was saved by grace (means that I did not deserve it) and that this grace could not be earned from my good works.  I could stop comparing myself to others because it doesn’t matter.  We are all even…. [Which, by the way, if you look at people and in your head  and you compare what you do to what they do then you are in the "works zone" still.  We need to talk.]  My ability to see this was given by God (a gift of faith).  It was done this way so I could not boast about how I have all this education and intellect.  He gave me this realization through His revealing of truths during certain points in my life.  I had nothing to do with it….

So this Easter is my first Easter of understanding this true gift of Faith.  I see things a little differently now.  When I look at the world it is so different-looking, as if I know it all doesn’t really matter.  I look at the world through the supernatural eyes of the Spirit.

Ironically to quote a song from the old days (when I totally did not get it), “Then the things of this earth will go strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”