Creating coachable moments
This is the follow up from a previous post from last week Leaders, it’s ok not to call the shots. In that piece of writing we discussed that it was ok, sometimes, to allow our people to make the decisions over our best judgments as the leader. Why? Because sometimes they are the ones equipped to do the work. We cannot be the experts in everything. It comes down to knowing when to trust and let go.
As I said in that previous post pastors can have an easier go at this when we accept the fact that God sends us those that are equipped to do the work of ministry. Then we can get the next benefit of this scenario. We have an opportunity to take a step back, observe, and coach.
This is the sweet spot that we all should be looking for no matter what you do. Look for those opportunities where you get a chance to encourage one of your people while giving them the positive feedback that they need to get better.
Now the kicker is nobody likes an overbearing, always cutting down, it’s never good enough, coach. Nobody wants to play for this guy. The only thing he’s good at is seeing how it wasn’t done his way. If you would have done it his way it would have come out better, right? I mean for that matter they should have done it in the first place. Why are they trying even to coach you? It becomes a waste of time.
Unfortunately, these folks were probably coached or parented by the same type of people. They become byproducts of what was done to them. As pastors, if that is how we are, we need that c#$% out! Our staff / volunteers probably get enough of this out in the real world.
By the way, as a parent, it is always easy to point out where our kids mess up but it is soooooo hard to point out when they are doing right. The difference is this. As a parent you are called to make them a better person for God not you. They are not to be mini-me’s but to be mini-Jesus’s. That means they will look different than you. So correcting them to do things your way is not always the best thing. Correct them in the right ways of God and they will become who they are destined to be.
This is the same way we need to treat all those that fall under our care. As pastors we are helping people develop into what God has called them to do. If they always do what we want them to do then it’s going to end bad because we are still messed up sinners. We don’t know all the answers and we don’t always make the best calls.
Stay tuned later this week for the practical side of coaching as in what does it look like.






May 26th, 2010 at 10:09 PM
Jody, this post really hit home for me. I have to say that I was coached and parented in the same way that you mentioned in the blog. Just so happened, my Dad was my coach. I didn’t have a fighting chance. He was an awesome football player in highschool. His Dad pushed him just as hard as he did me. I do have to say though, that even though I didn’t always like “playing” for him, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today without that kind of coaching. Having said that, I am glad to say that it ended with me. AND, since my Dad has become a Christian, he has really grown in this area. I think that if he had been close to God back then, he would have been more apt to point out the good things that I did instead of pointing out all of the bad. Even though he did so with good intent, it still caused hardships in our relationship. Because of this, I try to make sure that I correct my kids when needed but encourage them and praise them as well. Parenting is not easy. And yes, we are all messed up sinners. However, the best thing that we can do is be a light to our children. They live by example. If we want them to be mini-Jesus’, then WE need to be mini-Jesus’.
June 7th, 2010 at 6:41 AM
[...] week (heck it might have been two weeks a go, it’s been that busy) we talked about creating coachable moments. Bad thing is that I never got to say what does that look like. Sorry about that but to recap, [...]