Three times I asked the boy to come down stairs after washing his hands.  Every time was, “ok daddy” but it never happened.  It was diner time and I had the baby and momma and Baylee were setting the table.  So usually being very patient I would get him, put him in time out and then make him wash his hands….but, this is a different day.

We have been working on following directions first time given.  This is essential when running a multi-child home. The direction is not a request but a demand. There is no choice other than to obey.  Why?… Because we run the house and he is my charge, he is a pre-Christian in training, it brings sanity to a home, it helps with his safety not to question us, and….I’m hungry .

So Charlee (my 4 month old) and I go up the stairs with my son’s most unliked cooking utensil, the Wooden Spoon.  Which my son always reminds me, “Daddy that no for spankin my hiney that for stirring!”  Well today it was my Samurai sword so when he saw me coming he took off downstairs and the only thing that saved his “hiney” was that it was firmly planted in his chair.

Now other than making you laugh when you see my son there is some similarities in this story.  I have been reading Jeremiah lately when God punishes Judah for their rebellion against Him.  Even though it was devastating it was better than turning the blind eye to the situation.

He had to correct them because they were His people, they belonged to Him.  Through them the Messiah would come so Judaism as we now know it had to happen.  They had to learn not to question His commands because it was for their own good.  His laws would bring order to a world that knew insanity.  In the end it would be His will over theirs.

Jeremiah 29:10-13 says it like this,

10 This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

When I get Avery’s attention it is because I have plans for him.  Plans to be great.  Plans to be the “Salt & Light” of the world.  Plans to find peace  by living for God.  And God has the same plans for you.

God is a father that likes to get your attention because He loves and is committed to you.

Bottom line, if you see Him coming.  Run and save your behind! Because he has your best interests at heart but your ‘hiney” won’t like it.

Ok so I got a little time, so here are my thoughts on this past week before I take a break.

• In dealing with our home builder we have had to use the discipline of pestering nicely in stead of yelling angrily.  Just like you find everywhere else in the world there are some things worth fighting for like getting things done right on the house. Heather and I find the practice of pestering vs expressing anger works a lot better.  Check it out here for a biblical perspective Proverbs 15:1-5.  I will write about this specifically later next week.
• Sometimes I have avoided what I considered to be ‘hot topics’ with my wife.  Like disciplining kids, budgeting, management of the home.  What I have noticed lately is that Heather and I have been developing a closer relationship as we actually talk about it more.  We find out we are both on the same page and we discuss outcomes and wants instead of pointing fingers at each other.
• Still working through how to use pastoral influence instead of pastoral authority.  It’s a lot like counseling.  As a pastor we need to reserve the right for telling people what they ’should’ do and try to get people to ’see why’ they should be doing something.  We need to save the authority card for when we need it.
• For the past few weeks the staff has been working late about 1 night a week.  I am seeing this really cool thing happen.  As we get bogged down in the desk work of the day the evenings are coming alive with special projects.  What makes it fun is that we are engaging with our volunteers and attendees during these times.  I think I am going to be pushing for two office days and work two nights    Just so we can hang with our folks.
• I talked about Baptism with a few people who are getting baptized this weekend.  Great stories from all walks of life.  From people suffering job loss, pregnant moms, kids, and prodigal sons.  Just more testimony that Jesus is for everyone and He is definitely moving in our midst here at Oak Leaf.  By the way if you want to get baptized we do it at the end of every month so let me know if you want to get dunked and we’ll talk.

Alright I am about to go wrestle with the boy for a while but if you need some help in discovering what God has called you to do at Oak Leaf let me know. Now go and make sure to rest and reflect on what God is doing in your life.

As I was laying in bed at 5am this morning with Charlee crying in the room above and trying to get comfortable while my lower back is sending me pain signals I was thinking about the week.  Then it occurred to me either I have had way too much coffee or this was a great way to start my Sabbath and reflect on what transpired.  So here is what I gathered from my week.

1. When visiting someone in jail the visiting hours are not for your convenience.  You have two choices, Sunday or Wednesday 8-11 am.  Not only that, but you have to get there the first hour to get on the waiting list or it won’t happen.  Bottom line when you get arrested you have rights but you don’t get a say.
2. It’s good to have a sermon done a week ahead.  It allows you to go through it in your head and tweak final thoughts.  Also, it never fails, usually all the kids are home which makes it impossible to practice delivery since wherever I am there they are .
3. Twitter is fun but just like emails communication can be misconstrued.   People will interpret your ‘tweets’ based on how their day is going.  When you lay your life on twitter people will post their comments on you publicly.  It seems they forget about DM.
4. Second twitter thought.  Twitter is not just about you but about others.  If you are using it just to fill people in on your things like going, “going to the broom”, “just ate” and “sleeping now” I am about to stop following you.  Tell us something that helps us, makes us laugh, ask a question, something!  Then the, “I just got home” tweets can be taken a lot easier.
5. There is something magical about walking past your 3 month old and then she coos and smiles at you trying to get your attention.  Then you stop and do baby talk for five minutes.  You have just given them a memory, even thought it won’t last forever, that this guy likes me and I like him.  Can’t beat that!
6. Often times the very things that you are studying or just reading in the Bible will be something that you encounter that week.  Call me crazy but I believe all that stuff is planned out.  God will use what you are learning, not just for you, but to help others.
7. Lastly we had a talk in staff about Systems about shaping people’s behaviors using your system which regulates intervals of times for rewards and consequences. I was in an occupation for 11 years where that was all I did.  That stuff comes easy to me.  So, I definitely will be righting more about that in the future because giving positive feedback seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of people.

You can also catch about how the Holy Spirit uses you (see #6 above) by checking out Suzy’s page and catch her message on how God expects you to listen and partner with Him.

Alright that’s all I remember from 5 am.  The kids are up and I am about to relax and enjoy my Sabbath.  I hope you get the chance to do the same.

The May Family Snow Day 2010 from Jody May on Vimeo.

Alright, so now we are going to embark on those principles I was talking about from Band of Brothers earlier.  The first characteristic that we mentioned was this tighter than family bonding that happens.  If the church had more of this then we would carry each other’s burdens.  Here’s what it looked like for me.

It will be 6 years a go this Jan that I lost both of my parents in the same week.  No, it wasn’t a car wreck or something like that but two freaky different illnesses.  They died 3 days apart.  Imagine the surprise of all the people showing up at the funeral expecting to pay their condolences about my father and finding out my mother was their in a casket as well.  I can look back and smile now, in a morbid sense of humor way, and call it a two for one deal.

Seriously, I aged about 5 years in 3 months.  There was a lot of decisions to be made and some growing up to do during these times.  Not many people can appreciate the loneliness you feel when going through this, but for me there was this guy…

Larry Mayer, was the Lead Pastor at my church, currently the Wellington Campus Pastor of LifeChurch.tv,  and he was a good friend.  It just so happened that Larry had lost his parents three years earlier during the course of one year. He actually understood what I was feeling.  The sense of a loss of history, an ending to a period of life, and never being able again to call someone and tell them you love them.

I remember looking at him through tears and seeing him cry as well and know that he really felt what I felt.  I was not alone! There was someone like me, that went through this, and in him I found hope because I could see that life goes on.

Through all of this God orchestrated a relationship through which Larry challenged me to become a pastor at that church.  Because someone took the time to grieve with me it allowed them the ability to speak into my life and see what God was wanting me to do.

Empathy is a strength that unites us together and works for God’s purposes.

Thanks Larry, your one of my best friends…..

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15