We just had a season of training new group leaders and had our small groups kickoff. In the middle of all of that and the constant hustle and bustle of life, the beginning of a new school year started for my kids. This is why I haven’t been around here much lately.

So in catching up I am going to lay down a bunch of random stuff on this page that has been in my mind for the last 3 weeks and some of it I will expand on in the future.

• I am always amazed to see how God is working around me. I have seen people in recovery start to realize who they are in Christ.  It energizes me to see the same Spirit of God in both of us. It is truly like having a brother. Weird but awesome!
• My son is a compassionate and loving child while still having the warrior’s heart. I love it. There is a difficult side to this though. He has the strong will of his father. It will be challenging not to squash it but to harness it.
• Heather and I, since moving up here, have had the desire to open up our house for God’s use. It was something that we had no idea what it looked like – but we would look for those opportunities. Sooo in the spirit of intentionality we are having someone move in with us this weekend. Introductions will come later.
• Even when you are busy in life, as a Christian, you are here to do His will. I can’t tell you how many times over the last 2 weeks I have had to stop and help someone process life out. Whether I like it or not it is something that God expects of us. Don’t expect anything in return. Just enjoy the fact that you did something for Him, it’s payment enough.
• We haven’t had TV since last spring. That means we still watch movies from the library or Redbox on the weekends, but that’s it. No on has died and in fact no one misses it?! I would like to challenge those of you with kids to the “3 month no TV challenge.” I will write about how it’s been for me later.
• I like decorating a little too much for a dude. Ask my wife sometimes who gets all the final calls on the house. But I figured it out. It’s not the fact that I love decorating but that 2 of my top 5 strengths are maximizing and arranging. I can’t help but like to do it. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. Want to know what I am talking about? Look HERE.
• I am going to throw down another 18 pallets of sod today. I am a glutton for punishment I think. I am praying for rain in this parched land…

I could go on but the kids are up and on Friday daddy usually makes breakfast. Ooops, just heard momma in the kitchen, gotta go.

Here’s what I sound like on radio in case you were wondering.  Why is it your voice sounds good to you till you play it back. Have a laugh and listen to this…  I will post another one this week.

Dinner time, great for mental health too.

This was a recap from an earlier blog post I wrote about the healthy habit of a family eating together:

“Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be dysfunctional?”

A long time a go there was a woman named Hannah.  She worked hard at being a good wife and home builder.  She did her share chores and loved her husband.  But there was a problem.  She couldn’t bear children.  In the Israelite culture ,1100 s BC, it was a travesty if a woman couldn’t have kids especially male children.  The line would die out and so in that culture a family was counted blessed if you had sons.  Almost, as if God favored you more.

She also had to live with the thought that she shared her husband with another wife that, could have children!?  Talk about adding insult to injury.  The fact is, in the scriptures, it said that her hubby loved her more that the other.  Um, maybe he shouldn’t have married the other woman?  Ok I digress but that’s a topic for another day.   Guys don’t get any ideas…

Well she travels with old faithful, ahem, to the temple for one of the Jewish feasts (probably the feasts of Tabernacle) and listen to her prayers while there.

“O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”                                                                   1 Samuel 1:11 ESV

Would you believe it if I told you she goes home and gets pregnant?  So I imagine that the little promise pops up in her head and now she’s probably thinking, “How am I going to get out of this?”

Well, we couldn’t be more wrong…

After she weens him off of her milk she takes him to the temple.  Back then that was like three years.  No it’s not gross they didn’t have stores with pasteurized milk or formula in cans.  She drops him off at the temple and tells the high priest his name is Samuel which means possibly “offspring of God”  and leaves him.  Whoa!

I wonder how many of us parents are willing to give up a child, even to God himself? Unfortunately, if we say we can’t, then that shows how much we truly hold to the thought of God is sovereign and owns everything anyway.

Really, raising kids to the glory of God has nothing about your desires to love them it has to do with the ability to sacrifice your need for confirmation from them.  Let me put it this way.  Sometimes we need our kids more that they need us.  We use them for emotional stability. I know that I’ve done this.  If you are honest I think you’d say you’ve probably done the same thing.

Would you be willing to give God your child if it was a promise to Him no matter the emotional pain?  The answer will tell you a lot about yourself, your belief in God and your emotional stability.  Try and answer…

There are several reasons that come to mind why this might have an affect.

• You are showing your children that dinner is the time to enjoy your food and not worry about how many calories you’re eating.  It is the reward yourself time at the end of the day.
• When combining food with family relationships (when they aren’t strained) they both help build on the other.  That is to say if you are eating when you are feeling content from being around family you will have a better view of your food.  And eating food that taste good helps you stomach your family a little better.                                                                                                                                                                                             
• Evening meal time is traditionally the place where the family shares how their day was.  Dad gets to practice leading his family in conversations that help them cope with the world.  Dads you are the protectors of your family, you need to put them at ease and empower them for the next day.  It’s also a great place to celebrate the accomplishments of everyone.
• As far as practicality you can make good healthy meals which add to good food choices in the future.  This starts with your planning the week’s menu out ahead of time.  Show your kids how to eat right.

All in all, good eating habits take work and so does raising kids in a God fearing home.  I think that statistic is a little scary.  It is well worth our effort to make the evening meal the best it can be for ourselves and our kids.

Anyone have any good dinner ideas?

I’ve been a little afraid of going traveling there and what it would mean emotionally to me.  I had lost my parents within the same week those six years a go.  This trip to my child hood home was about as close to seeing them as I can get.  It was the place that held memories.  Memories of holidays, Sunday dinners, tons of hours spent in yard work, and the occasional argument.

Here’s what I found:

This was our little house I grew up in.  It was missing a tree in the front and the backyard was all overgrown.  There was this flag pole still planted in the front yard where my dad proudly displayed a lighted up American flag.  Everyone knew where my parents house was because of it. Finally there was a sticker on the front window.  It said that it was bank owned.

Yep, I cried a little.  This was where I grew up and it had been let go and nobody cared about it.  It was just a beat up empty shell.  A dead husk.

But it meant a very important truth for life lesson.

You are not your possessions and it won’t matter when you are dead and gone about this stuff.

My dad basically worked to retire.  He half killed himself working as a a blue collar/union man.  He retired only shortly after to get lung cancer and spend what few years in retirement visiting dr offices all the time.

What if we he just focused on living, not on the tomorrow?  What if he had lived a life doing God’s purpose instead of worrying about old age?

We get so wrapped up in our earthly lives that we forget what’s important.  You know what all I wanted growing up?  Is for my dad not to be so tired so he could play with me…

Ok when I write this I want you all to know something.  I am old fashioned.  I’m not sure what that means to you but for clarity sake let me explain to you what that means to me.

Men should be men and women should be women.  Now, that’s all cleared up, right?

Seriously, I am kind of a traditionalist.  That does not mean I adhere to some type of male domineering philosophy but that God has called both sexes to some different roles and responsibilities.  We were equipped to do different things.  In saying that, periodically, I will be writing on this blog about some of my traditional, and dare I say biblical, views of the home.

So let me start by uplifting one of the key building blocks for a God fearing home.  The Wise Woman.

The wise woman has been assigned a task from God to build up her house.  Translated for our purposes let’s think of the home, the place where the ‘heart’ of the family resides.  She is to be the one that is to be the, some of you won’t like this, “nest maker”.  She’s the one that is to make sure things are running like a well oiled machine around the household.  Whether she is the cook or not isn’t the question (I do my share of cooking at the house). But rather is there food and what type of foods are you eating?  Is everyone scheduled for their Dr. apts.?  What does the school calendar look like for the upcoming week?  Does everyone have what they need clothes wise?  And as you see the list goes on and on.

As far as the ‘folly’ part of the above Proverbs let us put that into the modern translation of ‘foolish’.  What is it that a woman can do that would tear down the home she is so trying to lovingly build?

Here’s where I need you to chime in ladies.  In what ways do you think you can or have been detrimental to your home?  If you need a little prodding here’s a thought.

If God created us with unique responsibilities and gifts to be used in the management of a home and the rearing of children, then what do you think it does when we try to reverse the roles?  What happens when the man aggressively tries to run the home like a dictator and doesn’t allow you to do what you were called to do?  Or on the other side of that what happens when he’s a chicken and sits passively to the side letting you do everything?  What are the consequences when you try to subvert your will over his all the time instead of being submissive as in Ephesians 5?

I ask in light of this.  If the old ways are so bad why the constant rise in divorce rates and single homes?

I aint gonna lie.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I love my wife and kids I would NEVER venture to Florida, ESPECIALLY in the summer time.  But, that’s my lot in life so here’s the skinny on what I got out of our family get away.

1. If you have a baby don’t expect to get sleep.  Changing routines will throw them out of whack which means for you everyone is out of whack.
2. You will find the concept of bedtime thrown out the window because when you haven’t seen someone in a while relationship connections are what matters.  Therefore as in point one no sleep.
3. Even when having the best laid plans about who to stay with family never understands the ‘whys’ about your decisions.  You will tick some one off.
4. You don’t get to complain about what was brought unless you did the packing.  Sorry honey
5. Your car will be be destroyed with spilled drinks and food.  For every child it multiplies by a factor of 5.  If you are a parent you get this.
6. Having children and family equals no time for yourself.  Get over it you should have known that was comin.  It makes you appreciate your ‘alone’ bathroom times all the more.
7. Yep, your family is still dysfunctional.  Get over it because so are you.
8. Eating healthy and working out will not happen so enjoy the junk food while it lasts.  On that note make sure you pack the Pepto and Exlax for whatever comes your way.  That’s the type of thing you always wished you had packed.  Been there done that…
9. You will argue with your spouse.  That’s ok.  You get a bonus 10 grace points for being crazy enough to drive 10 hours in a car with three kids.  Saying that, whatever arguments you have on vaca stay on vaca because they are invalid when you are back at home.
10. Lastly, for me I would do it all over again.  Why?  It aint about me.  This is about my wife and kids that need the family connections.  Besides, I got a year to recover.

I hope you all had a chance to get away this summer.  Just remember there are no dream vacations out there but there are a lot of good memories to be made with your family. So remember – DON’T spend your time pouting on vacation it’s not about you!  You might miss the opportunity to give them a time to remember instead of giving them a time to regret.

Good to be back looking forward to chatting with you all in the future.

Oh, by the way, if you like fantasy you should read this series by Robert Jordan.  It will take you a couple of years to get through it.  He is like the American version of Tolkien.

1.   The Patriot – reminds me of a lot of stuff.  Fighting for freedom, good   triumphing over evil, and what it takes to be a passionate dad.  And yes, it makes me cry evry time his little girl runs up to dad and begs him not to go.   But it also makes me more determined to keep the faith and live like I should.

2.  Jaws – Oh yeah!  Real patriotic right?  Nah, but there is something about watching this movie in summer because that’s when all the craziness goes down in this town during the opening of a holiday season.  By the way the water is still too cold to swim up there in the summer time. Been there done that, Crazy!

3.  Star Wars – By this I mean the original 1977 Episode IV A New Hope.  I remember the summer release of this movie and unfortunately so did my mother.  It was the first time I ever made her take me to see a movie twice.  Miss you mom!

4.  Meatballs – Oh the memories of summer camp (by the way I hated summer camp but Heather’s dad was an actual camp director, she loved it! Go figure…)  If you are a Bill Muray fan then you would like this film.

5.  Any type of John Wayne Western.  Why?  Because he’s American and cowboys is about as American you can get!  You won’t go wrong with one of these choices and you just might introduce your family to an old icon.

Well there you go, my top 5 movies I like to watch this time of year. Do you have something you like to watch in the summer?  Got some holiday traditions for the 4th?

Whatever your holiday traditions are do them with friends and family and remember God is the reason that America is great.

Happy 4th of July!

Old Time Religion – Honor Your Country from Oak Leaf Church on Vimeo.

So I want to take a minute and ask you guys something.  What are you willing to give up so that you can honor God?

I know that many of us went home on Saturday/Sunday and tried to put out of our minds that thing which we worship.  But it’s not going to go away because God is faithful and if you belong to Him He is going to keep reminding you of that Asherah Pole, that thing that gets between you and Him.

Remember to Honor your country you first have to honor God.

So what is it? I shared with you all that mine was the tv.  Here’s how t.v. was disrupting our life.

• It became the focus after the family meal at night.  Maybe it was a kid program but it was always, “What are we gonna watch tonight?”.
• It became our kid watcher when we were busy cleaning the kitchen or getting ready in the morning.
• It competed for reading time with the family.
• Instead of looking for ways to engage our kids it was easier pawning them off on the tv.

In the end it kept us from engaging with the family about God.  Now our children’s attention is not something we have to compete for.

Heather and I were really putting our needs first over what God wanted for our family.  So, on suggestion of my wise wife,  we tour down our Asherah Pole.

Now we spend time talking, playing games, and engaging our children in conversations about God.

SO,

What are you willing to tear down in order to put God first again?

Now STOP!  If you are reading this and have not read the other writing please go back and click on the picture and read it first…

I just thought it was kind of eye opening to see how people in positions of power, whether that is government or business, will use the emotions of the public to get us to do things.

Why do people do this?  Because they know that people REACT to situations instead of THINKING about them first.  They are likely to get you to decide to take a course of action based on emotional responses rather than rational thinking.

Acting out of emotions has no lasting effect.  We will react to a situation and when it is done the emotion tends to die out.  Often times we are left with the thought of, “I shouldn’t have responded like that.” This happens all the time in our private lives. For example.

• “Wow, they are hot!  I need to get together with that person.”  Emotion of lust passes and we are left with guilt, remorse, maybe a VD, or a crushed spouse.
• “That’s it I have had it!”  We let anger build and it explodes on everyone.  It destroys friendships, relationships, and family members.  Worst case scenario puts us in jail.  By the way Anger is a secondary emotion that masks other things.  Don’t justify reacting out of anger because half the time your angry because of your expectations not being met.  That’s half your fault…
• “I have got to have that now.”  Greed comes in and gets us in financial trouble.  The thought of not having it consumes us and we spend money we don’t have to get it.  By the way money difficulties is one of the top 3 reasons for divorce.
• “Nobody cares and I probably deserve it anyway.” Depression is a crippler.  When we allow this to control our lives nothing never looks good to us.  The more we go down this road the more everything looks bleak.  Leads to a dependency on medication, destruction of relationships and possible suicide.
• “Oh my gosh, what if it doesn’t work out the way I want it!?” Anxiety is the new depression.  More and more people are diagnosed with this everyday.  It causes all kinds of medical problems along with all of your relationships impaired. Forget about working, becuase it just adds to the whole mess.

One of scriptures simplest lessons is this.

19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  James 1 19-20 NIV

If you let your emotions control you it will always lead you down the wrong path.  Now, relating solely out of rational thought (think Spock from Star Trek) isn’t always good either, but that is a topic for another day.  God built the two to be used together.

Good Thinking + Right Emotions = God Honoring Actions