I aint gonna lie.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I love my wife and kids I would NEVER venture to Florida, ESPECIALLY in the summer time.  But, that’s my lot in life so here’s the skinny on what I got out of our family get away.

1. If you have a baby don’t expect to get sleep.  Changing routines will throw them out of whack which means for you everyone is out of whack.
2. You will find the concept of bedtime thrown out the window because when you haven’t seen someone in a while relationship connections are what matters.  Therefore as in point one no sleep.
3. Even when having the best laid plans about who to stay with family never understands the ‘whys’ about your decisions.  You will tick some one off.
4. You don’t get to complain about what was brought unless you did the packing.  Sorry honey
5. Your car will be be destroyed with spilled drinks and food.  For every child it multiplies by a factor of 5.  If you are a parent you get this.
6. Having children and family equals no time for yourself.  Get over it you should have known that was comin.  It makes you appreciate your ‘alone’ bathroom times all the more.
7. Yep, your family is still dysfunctional.  Get over it because so are you.
8. Eating healthy and working out will not happen so enjoy the junk food while it lasts.  On that note make sure you pack the Pepto and Exlax for whatever comes your way.  That’s the type of thing you always wished you had packed.  Been there done that…
9. You will argue with your spouse.  That’s ok.  You get a bonus 10 grace points for being crazy enough to drive 10 hours in a car with three kids.  Saying that, whatever arguments you have on vaca stay on vaca because they are invalid when you are back at home.
10. Lastly, for me I would do it all over again.  Why?  It aint about me.  This is about my wife and kids that need the family connections.  Besides, I got a year to recover.

I hope you all had a chance to get away this summer.  Just remember there are no dream vacations out there but there are a lot of good memories to be made with your family. So remember – DON’T spend your time pouting on vacation it’s not about you!  You might miss the opportunity to give them a time to remember instead of giving them a time to regret.

Good to be back looking forward to chatting with you all in the future.

Oh, by the way, if you like fantasy you should read this series by Robert Jordan.  It will take you a couple of years to get through it.  He is like the American version of Tolkien.

1.   The Patriot – reminds me of a lot of stuff.  Fighting for freedom, good   triumphing over evil, and what it takes to be a passionate dad.  And yes, it makes me cry evry time his little girl runs up to dad and begs him not to go.   But it also makes me more determined to keep the faith and live like I should.

2.  Jaws – Oh yeah!  Real patriotic right?  Nah, but there is something about watching this movie in summer because that’s when all the craziness goes down in this town during the opening of a holiday season.  By the way the water is still too cold to swim up there in the summer time. Been there done that, Crazy!

3.  Star Wars – By this I mean the original 1977 Episode IV A New Hope.  I remember the summer release of this movie and unfortunately so did my mother.  It was the first time I ever made her take me to see a movie twice.  Miss you mom!

4.  Meatballs – Oh the memories of summer camp (by the way I hated summer camp but Heather’s dad was an actual camp director, she loved it! Go figure…)  If you are a Bill Muray fan then you would like this film.

5.  Any type of John Wayne Western.  Why?  Because he’s American and cowboys is about as American you can get!  You won’t go wrong with one of these choices and you just might introduce your family to an old icon.

Well there you go, my top 5 movies I like to watch this time of year. Do you have something you like to watch in the summer?  Got some holiday traditions for the 4th?

Whatever your holiday traditions are do them with friends and family and remember God is the reason that America is great.

Happy 4th of July!

Old Time Religion – Honor Your Country from Oak Leaf Church on Vimeo.

So I want to take a minute and ask you guys something.  What are you willing to give up so that you can honor God?

I know that many of us went home on Saturday/Sunday and tried to put out of our minds that thing which we worship.  But it’s not going to go away because God is faithful and if you belong to Him He is going to keep reminding you of that Asherah Pole, that thing that gets between you and Him.

Remember to Honor your country you first have to honor God.

So what is it? I shared with you all that mine was the tv.  Here’s how t.v. was disrupting our life.

• It became the focus after the family meal at night.  Maybe it was a kid program but it was always, “What are we gonna watch tonight?”.
• It became our kid watcher when we were busy cleaning the kitchen or getting ready in the morning.
• It competed for reading time with the family.
• Instead of looking for ways to engage our kids it was easier pawning them off on the tv.

In the end it kept us from engaging with the family about God.  Now our children’s attention is not something we have to compete for.

Heather and I were really putting our needs first over what God wanted for our family.  So, on suggestion of my wise wife,  we tour down our Asherah Pole.

Now we spend time talking, playing games, and engaging our children in conversations about God.

SO,

What are you willing to tear down in order to put God first again?

Now STOP!  If you are reading this and have not read the other writing please go back and click on the picture and read it first…

I just thought it was kind of eye opening to see how people in positions of power, whether that is government or business, will use the emotions of the public to get us to do things.

Why do people do this?  Because they know that people REACT to situations instead of THINKING about them first.  They are likely to get you to decide to take a course of action based on emotional responses rather than rational thinking.

Acting out of emotions has no lasting effect.  We will react to a situation and when it is done the emotion tends to die out.  Often times we are left with the thought of, “I shouldn’t have responded like that.” This happens all the time in our private lives. For example.

• “Wow, they are hot!  I need to get together with that person.”  Emotion of lust passes and we are left with guilt, remorse, maybe a VD, or a crushed spouse.
• “That’s it I have had it!”  We let anger build and it explodes on everyone.  It destroys friendships, relationships, and family members.  Worst case scenario puts us in jail.  By the way Anger is a secondary emotion that masks other things.  Don’t justify reacting out of anger because half the time your angry because of your expectations not being met.  That’s half your fault…
• “I have got to have that now.”  Greed comes in and gets us in financial trouble.  The thought of not having it consumes us and we spend money we don’t have to get it.  By the way money difficulties is one of the top 3 reasons for divorce.
• “Nobody cares and I probably deserve it anyway.” Depression is a crippler.  When we allow this to control our lives nothing never looks good to us.  The more we go down this road the more everything looks bleak.  Leads to a dependency on medication, destruction of relationships and possible suicide.
• “Oh my gosh, what if it doesn’t work out the way I want it!?” Anxiety is the new depression.  More and more people are diagnosed with this everyday.  It causes all kinds of medical problems along with all of your relationships impaired. Forget about working, becuase it just adds to the whole mess.

One of scriptures simplest lessons is this.

19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  James 1 19-20 NIV

If you let your emotions control you it will always lead you down the wrong path.  Now, relating solely out of rational thought (think Spock from Star Trek) isn’t always good either, but that is a topic for another day.  God built the two to be used together.

Good Thinking + Right Emotions = God Honoring Actions

I have lost my dad but thankfully it was not that long a go. That meant for him that I was already established in my life.  But in saying that before he died I still could see the worry in his eyes for me and hear the concern in his voice.  We are dads.  We are suppose to worry right?

Earlier this year I learned about Matt Chandler’s story which really struck home for me.  That’s because we are close in the same stage of life and his kids are exactly the same age as mine.  Eye opener.

Then I read this story about Zac Smith who at 32 left three kids and a wife behind.  Suffering from abdominal cancer for 2 months before he died he had to bear his cross.  DADS please watch the video and read from his blog some and get how even in his suffering he accomplished what God called Him to do.

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

If you are a father and are not living this life all for God and for those He has called you to live sacrificially for, your family, please wake up.  Realize how short time is and make your mark on this world.  That is one of being a Godly father and leader for your family.  They need you…

• “Oh, I’m sorry I would love to come to Second Saturday (that is a serve the community opp) but we have a travel baseball game today.”
• “Gee, I have to miss church again because there is a major cheer leading competition happening and the coach doesn’t like for us to miss.”
• “You know, I like going to group but I never get to see my spouse much because of my work schedule.”
• “Man, if I give this month like we usually do then we won’t have that extra vacation money this summer.”
• “Sorry, I would love to come help you move but we have had this family thing planned forever.”
• “Wow, knew you were in the hospital but we had a huge HW assignment due tomorrow for the kids.”
• “Dang, I didn’t know it was so bad for you, I have been wrapped up in the home makeover thing, you know my spouse wants it done like now.”

Alright so before you get peeved at me I have been guilty of all of the above.  So number one I aint judging you.  Let’s just say I have noticed that you and I have some similarities.

If you know me then you know this is what I consider family fun!

We love to use our families as excuses for the things we would rather not do.  I mean, let’s face it, when we rally around the call of family time who is going to question us right?  In a world that seems so on the brink of destruction all the time it is important for families to stick together right?

I agree with you.  We need to spend time with our families but spending time with them does not automatically make them better off for it.  That’s a lie.  You can hurt your family just as much as the world when you use them as the excuse.  How?

Do you know what all the things listed above have in common?  IT’S ALL ABOUT ‘YOU’.  That’s right, whether it’s about getting what you want or showing your kids that what they want to do always trumps what is good and what should be done.  If we keep up with these patterns we will have a generation of people that always look to themselves first for their own well being instead of to God. Um, if you have been in church long enough you know how that’s going to end.

Listen sometimes it is the right thing to do to fight for family time.  It’s ok (can’t believe I am saying this) to miss church every so often but it should not be the default thing to do.  It’s ok to say no to serving someone else because you had something planned.  That’s fine BUT it should not be that way all the time.  As a matter of fact it shouldn’t happen that much at all.  If our time is being taken from us and we have to cut good things out always so we can do the family things then we are probably not managing our time well or it’s time to scale down and get a different job.

Let me leave you with this thought.  I want to show you how Jesus viewed His family (whom He loved dearly) when it came down to doing everyday life.

19 Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. 20 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” 21 He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.”  Luke 8:19-21

Looking back at the week here’s what caught my eye.

• From an earlier post this past week we noticed a growing trend from people around the Leaf.  That is a lot of people would probably call themselves Libertarian.   Meaning that they prefer to keep big government out of their lives.  I would venture to say that there is a growing fear of a government that’s trying to make decisions for us instead of the people making decisions for themselves.  We will keep an eye on this topic and maybe hit it again in the future.  Thanks to all of you that gave your input on that post.
• I experienced a good sense of tired this week.  Don’t know if any of you have ever experienced being tired at the end of the week ‘not just’ because of the amount of work you did.  I was tired and a little worn this week but I still felt energized as in I could do another day.  I think the secret is probably that I spent half of my week with other people and away from the desk.  Thinking this is what I need to strive to do more often.  By the way the more you discover your purpose for God the more you will feel like this as well.
• Starting to seriously think about home schooling.  I think we have great teachers out in the school system but they are being handicapped by our regulations.  Because of testing standards, according to Tommy Pascoe a smart guy when it comes to educating a child, we are making average students. That is to say that because of things like, ‘leave no child behind’ initiatives, that we spend a lot of our resources developing deficiencies instead of building on strengths.  Again, that is more about a government regulating what they think is best to a bunch of educators in a classroom.  By the way I am an ex-educator (11 years in special education) from a giant school system.  I am actually thinking about running for the school board one day down here in Paulding.
• Spent some time in confession to one of my close friends this week.  No, I don’t have anything to hide from you all.  This was a spiritual discipline I was practicing found in James 5:16.  Bottom line, there are some things in life that I have never told anyone else and I even don’t mention them to God much.  By speaking them out loud to another human being is a freeing act.  This is a big thing that I want you all to consider so I am going to blog about it at the beginning of next week.

Now take some time and enjoy your God as you reflect this Sabbath.

Blessings,

Jody

Writing this post tonight because Baylee, Heather and I have a volunteer opportunity tomorrow.  Yes it is good to help out the community but were getting a free Disney ticket out of it. Woohoo!

Here’s what I spent time thinking on this week.

• Upsetting to see a ton of teacher losing their jobs this week.  It’s like we took a 5 year backward step.  Usually things like this you expect to get it back but I don’t know this time.   I don’t like talking politics on the blog but I am not talking people but talking situations.  The state takes care of the education and so because of some recent legislation on a Federal level (health care) it is going to be even harder to have some extra money for education (because of taxes).  It’s the trickle down effect, you do the math.  Just to be clear the federal government has been making decisions effecting everyone and not taking into consideration of implications down the road for the states.  Wondering when the states will start sticking up more for their people.
• Had a chance to meet with a lot of people last week which is what I love to do.  I love to hear about what is going on in the lives of others and see how God is moving.  I actually saw a couple of times where God, being divinely strategic, had set up people’s heart before I ever talked with them.  I am going to do my best to break away from the office more and more.  Watch out, because next year I am going to do my best and try to make at least half my time hanging out with our folks.  If you think God is calling you to do something at our church or you need some direction consultation then let’s get together.
• Noticing that my kids are growing up way too fast.  I took the time this week to contemplate how each one is unique.  I need to revisit what is my vision for each child.  I have actually started praying for them specifically based on what God is showing me as a need in their life.
• Talking about prayer, I started writing down my prayers again a while back.  I actually preached on prayer about two months a go so ‘how’ one would pray has been on my mind.  One of the things that you see in the Lord’s prayer is the fact that we are to pray for others just as we are to pray for ourselves.  One of the things that I noticed about my prayer journal is that for the first time in my life it is filled with prayers for others and not me.  I aint pattin myself on the back but it is nice not to be so wrapped up in myself.  Want to know a secret?  The more you are concerned for others the less you are concerned for yourself.  I think this is why the Apostle Paul talked about and found some contentment in his work.

Alright I really need to get to bed for our work day tomorrow.  I am hoping that you found some time to rest and reflect this week.

Blessings!

I was looking forward to this past week.  We had just finished two long weeks at work.  We just had wrapped up 7 Easter services at Oak Leaf and the week before that we had just completed our annual Egg Drop.  Both were great events. So I was looking forward to a week with a little less in it trying to get a focus on what was coming ahead.  Here’s what happened….

• Just because you have a week planned where you think it is going to be a little quiet so you can get ahead in your work, you still need to create margin in your schedule.  I had a couple of impromptu meetings with people that needed to talk to me about some important issues in their life. Having margin is a must if you are going to be a pastor. If you are wrapped up in schedules, meetings, and appointments then you have missed the point….
• When planning time with the family, you have to do just that.  Being home for a couple of extra days during the week is a blessing to me.  Although being a guy I will take advantage of this and spend all my time working on my honey-do-lists. SOOO, plan the time for the family as well.  Focus in on what you should be doing with them and the list will get done.  Oh yeah, that’s called creating margin at home as well.
• When I look at the relationship between Heather and I, there are a lot of areas on which we can improve.  But I am so encouraged to have someone like her.  It has only taken us 11 years to figure out a few things and it will probably take another 11 to fix them.  Marriage is that way.  You are in a covenant relationship with someone.  There is no breaking it.  So the only option you have is to figure out how to enjoy the other person.  By the way, side note, Heather and I celebrated our 11th anniversary on Egg Drop day.  Can you believe that they wouldn’t give me the day off?
• There are times in your life when you can’t avoid being edgy….recently Heather caught me at this.  So after confessing it I was to figure out what it was.  Basically, along with the church busy season and all the other work that continues we were also lacking sleep.  Charlee had been fighting a routine.  If you do not sleep well, for whatever reason, you need to work on it.  It affects your judgment on all things.  If you are one of those who is like, “Well, I don’t need that much sleep”…um, you’re still wrong.  You can be much better at what you do and besides God planned for you to rest.  Research is on my side so don’t argue that one.  Besides, for some of you, I wonder what you are worrying about that you won’t let God take care of.
• Lastly, after a pretty decent week my friend Russon lost his dad in the middle of the night on Tuesday.  It was an unexpected thing.  When talking with him, I found that there are no words that make everything right.  Here is what I could offer…empathy.  I lost my parents 6 years ago.  I know what it feels like.  So in the midst of crying on the phone and praying on his behalf he knows that I am there with him.  There is a club out there that not just anyone can be a part of.  It’s the club of losing a close family member.  You don’t get in until it happens to you.  Then when you are in, if you are a Christian, it’s an ok place to be.  A Christian has hope and assurances from our God but they also get this: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).  God allows our past hardships to help others through their tough times as well.  I know that Russon and I will have some talks and tears in the future together.

It has been a week of mixed emotions.  Most of the time life is like that.  I hope that you to will experience the peace of Christ in times like this.

Remember to take a break today and reflect on what He is showing you….

It is a conspiracy divinely arranged and with divine intent.

God lures us into marriage through love and sex and loneliness, or simply the fact that someone finally paid attention – all those reasons that you got married in the first place.  It doesn’t really matter, he’ll do whatever it takes.  He lures us into marriage and then he uses it to transform us.

-John Eldredge

HA, HA, HA!  Real funny God!

When I first read this I was laughing out loud while on the way to our small group.  I was reading it to Heather because we are studying John Eldredge’s new book, Love and War.

It’s a great snapshot of how a part of God’s plan to sanctify us (sanctification is the ongoing act of making us more like His son – that is, every day He continually makes us new, saving us) is to lure us into the closest relationship we will ever have with a person.  Through this relationship we begin to learn how broken we are.

Yes, we are broken….

Because of this we always look at the other person in the relationship and say things like, “If they would only change…” or “If they would just do….”‘  Sound familiar?

The best thing that can happen in any relationship is for each individual to realize they, that means them personally, don’t work right.  You love to have things your way and subconsciously you desire the other person to change to suit your needs.  When we project this on our spouse we are in for some real rough times.

Two things here that I am going to share with you and if you realize this now you can have the relationship you want.  Seriously, I have seen it work!

1. Stop trying to fix the other person. First, you can’t. Secondly, that’s God’s job.   Thirdly, you are responsible to work on yourself.  Repeat, you need to work on yourself.  Your relationship will improve the more you press into God and allow the gospel of Jesus to change your life. Develop your relationship with God and your marriage will improve.
2. You have to want to do it for yourself. You will never change for someone else.  You do not possess that kind of love yet.  Work from the strength of the fact of you love yourself.  It is the same for people who suffer from addictions.   People never quit anything for someone else.  It has to be because you want it.  In terms of your marriage, you have to want things like wanting to grow old with your spouse, being financially secure, and seeing your children have stability in a crazy world.  Envision what your future would be like and understand that divorce is an easy way out but it is also ten steps backwards….

There is a lot more that I could write on this.  I feel a sermon series coming on.

What do you think?  Does the fact that God uses our marriage relationships as a conspiracy to transform us make you view your spouse differently?