As a part of trying to be disciplined in completing things I start, I am finishing a follow up to a previous post.  Comparing church staff (core leaders) as soldiers in war time. Here’s the point from that post:

♣  They might not have liked getting shot at but they accepted the responsibility of fighting naked aggression.

Soooooo, what’s that got to do with church culture?

Simply put, we have an understanding that we are in a continual conflict with the world.  As the scripture states.

James 4:4

“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”

Now that is not to say we are not to be friends with the people of the world.  That was how Jesus lived.  But we are not to be friendly to the world.  We are not to support and live by the morals, values, and conduct of the world.  Those things are in direct conflict with God.  They are usually in direct opposition with Him and therefore these things become God’s enemy?!

So…when we take on the responsibility of becoming an engaged and supportive partner with the church we are in turn saying, “I’m in the fight”.  It is safe to assume now that because you are in the fight you will take some liks.  It is to be expected.

But that’s ok. and here’s why:

• When on the aggressive side damage is not felt as much.
• If you choose not to fight when you are a Christian it does not take you off the battlefield.  Therefore you are actually going to get hurt more.
• Taking pain for the cause of Christ let’s you know you are on the right side.
• Pain also let’s you know that you are growing.  Your ’spiritual muscles’ develop and scars make you tough.
• In the process of getting tougher when you face the next battle you are even more prepared.

By choosing to be engaged we are actually showing God we love Him.  Not to get love from Him but because it is an outpouring of gratitude for what He has done for you. He fought for you through someone that had to take some damage along the way.  Wasn’t it worth it?

Three times I asked the boy to come down stairs after washing his hands.  Every time was, “ok daddy” but it never happened.  It was diner time and I had the baby and momma and Baylee were setting the table.  So usually being very patient I would get him, put him in time out and then make him wash his hands….but, this is a different day.

We have been working on following directions first time given.  This is essential when running a multi-child home. The direction is not a request but a demand. There is no choice other than to obey.  Why?… Because we run the house and he is my charge, he is a pre-Christian in training, it brings sanity to a home, it helps with his safety not to question us, and….I’m hungry .

So Charlee (my 4 month old) and I go up the stairs with my son’s most unliked cooking utensil, the Wooden Spoon.  Which my son always reminds me, “Daddy that no for spankin my hiney that for stirring!”  Well today it was my Samurai sword so when he saw me coming he took off downstairs and the only thing that saved his “hiney” was that it was firmly planted in his chair.

Now other than making you laugh when you see my son there is some similarities in this story.  I have been reading Jeremiah lately when God punishes Judah for their rebellion against Him.  Even though it was devastating it was better than turning the blind eye to the situation.

He had to correct them because they were His people, they belonged to Him.  Through them the Messiah would come so Judaism as we now know it had to happen.  They had to learn not to question His commands because it was for their own good.  His laws would bring order to a world that knew insanity.  In the end it would be His will over theirs.

Jeremiah 29:10-13 says it like this,

10 This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

When I get Avery’s attention it is because I have plans for him.  Plans to be great.  Plans to be the “Salt & Light” of the world.  Plans to find peace  by living for God.  And God has the same plans for you.

God is a father that likes to get your attention because He loves and is committed to you.

Bottom line, if you see Him coming.  Run and save your behind! Because he has your best interests at heart but your ‘hiney” won’t like it.

Ok so I got a little time, so here are my thoughts on this past week before I take a break.

• In dealing with our home builder we have had to use the discipline of pestering nicely in stead of yelling angrily.  Just like you find everywhere else in the world there are some things worth fighting for like getting things done right on the house. Heather and I find the practice of pestering vs expressing anger works a lot better.  Check it out here for a biblical perspective Proverbs 15:1-5.  I will write about this specifically later next week.
• Sometimes I have avoided what I considered to be ‘hot topics’ with my wife.  Like disciplining kids, budgeting, management of the home.  What I have noticed lately is that Heather and I have been developing a closer relationship as we actually talk about it more.  We find out we are both on the same page and we discuss outcomes and wants instead of pointing fingers at each other.
• Still working through how to use pastoral influence instead of pastoral authority.  It’s a lot like counseling.  As a pastor we need to reserve the right for telling people what they ’should’ do and try to get people to ’see why’ they should be doing something.  We need to save the authority card for when we need it.
• For the past few weeks the staff has been working late about 1 night a week.  I am seeing this really cool thing happen.  As we get bogged down in the desk work of the day the evenings are coming alive with special projects.  What makes it fun is that we are engaging with our volunteers and attendees during these times.  I think I am going to be pushing for two office days and work two nights    Just so we can hang with our folks.
• I talked about Baptism with a few people who are getting baptized this weekend.  Great stories from all walks of life.  From people suffering job loss, pregnant moms, kids, and prodigal sons.  Just more testimony that Jesus is for everyone and He is definitely moving in our midst here at Oak Leaf.  By the way if you want to get baptized we do it at the end of every month so let me know if you want to get dunked and we’ll talk.

Alright I am about to go wrestle with the boy for a while but if you need some help in discovering what God has called you to do at Oak Leaf let me know. Now go and make sure to rest and reflect on what God is doing in your life.

Using the System for Effective Prayers from Jody May on Vimeo.

This video is a little something extra to go along with the sermon below. We can have more effective prayers when we decide to be in biblical community.

Jesus – How To Have An Effective Prayer Life from Oak Leaf Church on Vimeo.

This was a sermon from the Jesus Series on Luke 11. We explored why our prayers aren’t effective – because we think it is all about us…

We all have a part in ministering doesn't matter what your position is.

I had a cool talk with one of our Lead Volunteers here at Oak Leaf this week.  We were discussing how he was handling the ‘management’ of some of our volunteers.  I use that term ‘managing’ loosely because if you knew this guy then you would know people look up at him as the caring leader type.

As I was standing there I also told him that as far as his volunteers were concerned he was the one speaking for God during our weekend service times.  He was the one making our volunteers aware that we had guests that were coming that had a divine appointment with God that day.  The way that they behaved affected our guests in connecting with God.

This particular leader understood the commitment involved here and what was at cost.  What he did find hard to believe was that he himself was working along with God.  Paul says in I Corinthians 3:9 that we are ‘co-workers’ with God and that means he is every bit a minister as I am.

Which brings me to this.  As a church leader we have to be constantly aware of helping our people, across every area of influence (ministry) realize the fact that they have just as much at stake here as we do.  We all are partners in this church.  We work together while working with God.  When you are called to God through Christ it’s not just for your benefit.  You have been given the task of ministering to other people.  And if you are a ‘Leafer’ then that means you are to “Lead people from where they are to where God wants them to be”.

As I was laying in bed at 5am this morning with Charlee crying in the room above and trying to get comfortable while my lower back is sending me pain signals I was thinking about the week.  Then it occurred to me either I have had way too much coffee or this was a great way to start my Sabbath and reflect on what transpired.  So here is what I gathered from my week.

1. When visiting someone in jail the visiting hours are not for your convenience.  You have two choices, Sunday or Wednesday 8-11 am.  Not only that, but you have to get there the first hour to get on the waiting list or it won’t happen.  Bottom line when you get arrested you have rights but you don’t get a say.
2. It’s good to have a sermon done a week ahead.  It allows you to go through it in your head and tweak final thoughts.  Also, it never fails, usually all the kids are home which makes it impossible to practice delivery since wherever I am there they are .
3. Twitter is fun but just like emails communication can be misconstrued.   People will interpret your ‘tweets’ based on how their day is going.  When you lay your life on twitter people will post their comments on you publicly.  It seems they forget about DM.
4. Second twitter thought.  Twitter is not just about you but about others.  If you are using it just to fill people in on your things like going, “going to the broom”, “just ate” and “sleeping now” I am about to stop following you.  Tell us something that helps us, makes us laugh, ask a question, something!  Then the, “I just got home” tweets can be taken a lot easier.
5. There is something magical about walking past your 3 month old and then she coos and smiles at you trying to get your attention.  Then you stop and do baby talk for five minutes.  You have just given them a memory, even thought it won’t last forever, that this guy likes me and I like him.  Can’t beat that!
6. Often times the very things that you are studying or just reading in the Bible will be something that you encounter that week.  Call me crazy but I believe all that stuff is planned out.  God will use what you are learning, not just for you, but to help others.
7. Lastly we had a talk in staff about Systems about shaping people’s behaviors using your system which regulates intervals of times for rewards and consequences. I was in an occupation for 11 years where that was all I did.  That stuff comes easy to me.  So, I definitely will be righting more about that in the future because giving positive feedback seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of people.

You can also catch about how the Holy Spirit uses you (see #6 above) by checking out Suzy’s page and catch her message on how God expects you to listen and partner with Him.

Alright that’s all I remember from 5 am.  The kids are up and I am about to relax and enjoy my Sabbath.  I hope you get the chance to do the same.

The May Family Snow Day 2010 from Jody May on Vimeo.

Following the rules seems to be the hardest thing to do.

A lot of us think we have it figured out.   I mean we follow the rules, go to church, we’re  a good citizen, etc…  Along with this we might even be followers of Christ.  So what else is there?  Is there anything else I should be concerned with.  Have I made it?  From this point on does it  just keep getting better by making sure that my sinful nature stays checked?

Listen to what Jesus had to say;

18 A ruler questioned Him, saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 19 And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. 20 “You know the commandments, ‘DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY , DO NOT MURDER , DO NOT STEAL , DO NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS , HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER .’” 21 And he said, “All these things I have kept from my youth.” 22 When Jesus heard this, He said to him, “One thing you still lack; sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” 23 But when he had heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. 24 And Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God! 25 “For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 They who heard it said, “Then who can be saved?”

Luke 18:18-26

Along with following the rules comes the sacrifice.  You see it was easy for this guy to follow the rules and because of his cushy lifestyle he didn’t have to sweat too much.  Then Jesus dropped the bomb on him and basically said that following Him would have to cost something.

Where are you at?  I don’t think this means that having things is bad but you have them for a purpose.  Your ’stuff’ belongs to God anyway.  Are you ready to give it up?  When you serve does it cost you anything?  Is there a level of discomfort that comes with it?  Or is it easy for you to serve because your life is cushy?

Jesus seemed to put a big emphasis on it (eternal life), shouldn’t you?

This view on leadership and the church comes from an ongoing synopsis from the observations of Band of Brothers.

Next topic about the church and how it should be like today:

• Talk about open communication!  When your life depends on the other person you don’t hold anything back.

This point is similar but different to what we covered about being open with individuals and sharing your secrets.  This is more about how to communicate and what could be the possibilities if we took the time to listen before speaking.

Not to beat a dead horse but here are the differences and why good communication is worth it:

• They (the soldiers) knew to shut up when someone was talking so they could here the whole message.
• They also gave direct eye contact so they could see the guys emotional responses to what the other person was saying.
• Usually they started their answer by acknowledging somehow, “This is what I heard you say.” (Usually with colorful language )
• When they were sure they understood the bottom line then they decided to act on it.

What’s this look like for churches:

• Staff that understands how each other feels and what is important to the other person.
• Staff that feels that they are supported and that their contributions count.
• Bad eggs are weeded out because individual agendas are discovered and exposed.
• It allows for the clarification of vision and why you are doing something.
• Everybody knows how to speak for their team mates because they have a grasp of what the other is trying to accomplish.

I have been in situations where communication is non existent.  People believe that communication is getting louder and voicing your opinion more aggressively.  When this happens you lose moral and the respect of others.  Then your best leaders will leave.

Forget about good, average communication is hard to achieve but it is well worth it.

Those of you that have experienced the two different types of workplaces know what I am talking about.  Challenge to you is if you are in a place with bad communication how are you going to make it better?