Your Next Steps

Here’s what I sound like on radio in case you were wondering.  Why is it your voice sounds good to you till you play it back. Have a laugh and listen to this…  I will post another one this week.

Dinner time, great for mental health too.

This was a recap from an earlier blog post I wrote about the healthy habit of a family eating together:

“Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be dysfunctional?”

The power of intentionality, what is it?

These scenes are from one of my favorite movies, which by the way if it is a half way decent western you have made it to my favorites list..

No big secret here.  If you have scene this flick you would notice that the character Kevin plays is all about intentional living.  Once he has decides to fight this thing out he knows none of the bad guys can survive.  In his own words to his boss, “I aint spending the rest of my life looking over my shoulder!”  Now this is intentionality at it’s finest.

Once you make up your mind DO IT!

I mean I get the whole planning process and taking care of loose ends but geeeesh!  We lose so much momentum when we know we should do something and then we hem and haw about doing it.  Here are some areas where I see us as Christians blow it.

• “Should I lead a small group?”
• “Should I be in a small group?”
• “Should I serve in my church?”
• “Wondering if I should invite my neighbor to church?”
• “Is it safe to ask my co-worker over for dinner?”
• “Should I say something about a friends sin in his/her life?”
• “Maybe I’m the one wrong and I should apologize?”
• “Do I open my mouth at work and possibly risk job loss?”
• “Is it time to talk to my kids about sex yet?”
• “Is now a good time to pray?”

I don’t know what you are currently going through but for 90% of the time I bet for many of you your answer to the above questions need to be “YES”.  And probably if you are the one thinking, “Jody, you don’t understand.” Then you are wrong.  I wrote this for you.  I do understand so stop dragging your feet and DO IT!

The Church (Big C) needs more people that are ready to live with a sense of Intentionality.  You think God is speaking to you about something that’s a good thing?  Great, set your parameters for your prayer time/fasting, make the choice, and GET IT DONE ALREADY!

Not living with intent is like sailing a boat without a rudder.  Lot’s of action but no direction.  Jesus was intent on saving us and did not stray.  I thank God He lived that way.

By the way in the movie, the bad guys die, Kevin lives and gets the girl…

Man! I wish it was this easy.

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.  Proverbs 16:2 ESV

In other words, you might think you are justified in your actions but God knows your motives.

In a time where people are scrutinized for their decisions all day long this little verse brings with it some sense of justice and peace.

We watch the news and see politicians get reamed for their choices.  Local government officials are judged not by outcomes but by proposals of intent.  Neighbors are looked down on for whatever affronts they are causing you.  Your boss earns your condemnation whenever he says something to you that you don’t like.  And let’s not forget what your saying about your spouse behind their back.

In all of these situations we are judging the intent of a man.  This is a hard thing not to do, isn’t it?  I know that I have sinned (wronged) against people a multiple of times by doing this.  Bottom line is this.  I cannot know the intent of some one’s heart, only God does. Whenever I allow my anger to rise up I buy back into that old way of thinking as in, “I can’t believe they are doing this to me!?”  I haven’t even seen the outcome of the decision but I am quick to get all hostile about it.  I am pathetic…

Here’s why I refuse to keep sucking at this.  God says,

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;”  Luke6:37 ESV

I mean all through the scripture we get the same warning.  Don’t do it unless you want the same set of standards placed on you.  You see, that’s where it gets me every time.  God tells me in that little voice in my  head, “Do you really want me holding you to the same set of ridiculous standards you hold everyone else?”  And I’m like, “Um , nope.”  So then I am off and asking for forgiveness….. Again…

At the end of the day God knows the intent of men.  We can’t hide it from Him.  There is also a sense of peace that comes with this.  When you believe that God is truly sovereign (I mean that He is in control of everything and we will be discussing what you think is free will in the future) that everything works for and according to His purposes.  You will also find that fact a couple of more times in the same chapter 16 of Proverbs where we find that verse at the top of the page.

Must be a reason why God had it written that way.  Probably to get us to stop being a cry baby about perceived wrongs because He might have even wanted it that way.  DOH! Now how’s that make you feel?  Yep, there’s something to be said about being slow to anger…

Small Group Critique #2:

Liked this pic from Edinborough, Scotland - I will visit the homeland someday.

Know when to take a break. Everyone gets busy in their lives.  Sometimes people don’t want to come over and just do another Bible study.  I think many of us would just love to hang out with fellow believers and try to figure out this thing we call life.  Put your feelers out.  If you have a bunch of tired-looking folks, don’t be afraid to break away from the plans.  Care for your peeps by ministering through the lost act of fellowship.

Here’s a working definition of fellowship:

Things to keep in mind when attempting to fellowship with your people:

• Do it over food.  Food is the recognized drug of choice to help people feel better.  There ain’t (I know it’s not a proper word but I like it) nothing like getting together and talking over food.  It will help raise your serotonin levels while you share about your life.
• Add games when you can.  We don’t do this enough in our world.  Life is already too serious.  Laughing and playing together allows people to see the  common interests in their lives.
• Make sure the environment is comfortable.  Yeah, I know we’re not suppose to care what the house looks like but others do.  During this time of hanging out you don’t want people checking out your house which makes them and you uncomfortable.  If that’s not an option pick neutral territory.
• You can combine Bible study and food.  It’s two great tastes that taste great together. (I didn’t steal that).
• Put it on the calendar, and make it a regular occurrence, so that people will look forward to it.

God reveals Himself to others through scriptures AND through relationships.  Safe Christian relationships are the practice field for the mission field in the real world.  These relationships are developed through purposeful fellowship times.  Take the time to plan and respond to the needs of your group.

“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,”      Acts 2:46 NIV

If you know anything about the early church – this was one of the few things they got to enjoy…the fellowship with other believers.

Small Group Critique #1

Know when to shut up. – As an ex-teacher I know that there is always the potential for a group leader to go rambling off on something they have learned or experienced.  I still lead groups and it is always a constant struggle for me to shut up and practice listening.  If we practice more listening and less talking we will find the common beliefs within the group and possibly help someone.  I’m not saying don’t share, just be conscious that group growth comes from group talk not leader talk.

Here’s what I mean.

• When you are introducing a lesson that’s your time to set up the conversation for the day.  Get what you need to say out of the way.  Then, sit back and listen.
• Practice asking open ended questions.  That means questions that produce conversation; “What do you think about that?”  “When has this happened to you before?”  “Where do you see this happening in your life?” etc.  We need to ‘see’ the thought processes.
• Notice how others react.  Did you see someone smile?  Was Betty Lou raising an eyebrow? Why does John keep checking his watch every time his wife talks?  This is another great way to get others involved in discussion.  Ask them what those actions mean.  Just be prepared for this is when it usually starts to get interesting.

At the end of a good group time most of the people should have felt like they contributed to the time.  As a leader it is our job to be the facilitator of these moments of biblical community.  People will grow closer to each other, which is what we want, when they get the opportunity to talk to each other in sincere ways.

Warning though…  This is does lead to confrontation sometimes.  That’s ok.  Confrontation is what causes us to doubt what we have always believed.  This opens us up to new ways of looking at sin in our lives.

This does not happen when we teach all the time.  Our verbal diarrhea let’s people hide behind their mask of quietness.

Practicing the art of knowing when to speak and knowing when to shut up takes time.  It can be frustrating (especially for us know it all people) but like any skill you will get better with time.

By the way.  If you need an outlet for teaching/talking try blogging.  Why do you think I am writing this?