Your Next Steps

Reading a blog post from Seth today I was reminded of what ‘gifting’ is really like.

Read this little excerpt:

A gift certificate from a rich uncle is a present as well, it’s not really a gift.

A favor is something we do for someone hoping for an equal or greater favor in return. (Hence the phrase, “return the favor.” No one says, “return the gift.”)

A present is something that costs money, sure, and it’s free, but I don’t think it’s a gift.

A gift costs the giver something real. It might be cash (enough that we feel the pinch) but more likely it involves a sacrifice or a risk or an emotional exposure. A true gift is a heartfelt connection, something that changes both the giver and the recipient.

It reminded me again that even though God is sovereign and He owns everything His gift of His son really did cost Him something.  It cost him ‘emotional exposure’ as Seth would put it.  The idea that God gave a life for risk of having Himself turned down.  His gift is truly a “heartfelt connection” that was meant to draw us close to Him to have communion with Him.

Gifts are costly.  It’s what gives them value.  It’s what sets them apart from favors or presents.

If God has modeled this for us then let’s take this one step further.  Where are you doing this?  Outside of family have you done this for anyone else?

I got to admit when it comes to those outside my immediate family circle I pretty much stink at this.

I need to step it up a notch.

Thanks to all of you out there that contributed last week on Duct Tape Approach to Discipleship.  There were a lot of good thoughts that were generated from that post.  It is hard for me to pull everyone’s opinions together but in this post I am going to begin to try and do so.

For a topic as big as this there is not just one answer. BUT, I do think that there are two parts to discipleship that have been missing in the Church that have been staring at us right in the face.  These two parts were mentioned more that once by all the different people that posted.

I am going to tackle the first one now.  In all of the discussions there was an element that had to be present for any discipleship to work at all.  Whether that was a group or a class.

It is the personal involvement of one believer in the life of another.  This we can call Personal Discipleship. It is not relying on a program or system to better someone but an individual that works in part with the Holy Spirit.

I was reading a blog the other day that talked about a difference between mentoring and coaching.  Both parts are uniquely different according to that article but both parts are needed in Personal Discipleship.

Let’s look at mentoring as one half of the personal discipleship mentioned above;

Mentoring is the act of putting time & effort into someone.  Most of the time this is more for their benefit and not yours.  Although, as it pertains to a Christian life it will benefit them, you, the church and those around them.

• Mentoring is giving of oneself to build up another individual.
• It can cost the mentor up front with not much visible potential for a return.
• It’s like investing though, because you expect some type of return.
• Even though you may expect a return ‘don’t’ always expect to see it for yourself.
• There is no set periods of time for mentoring because everyone learns differently and has different needs.
• Mentoring increases your capacity to love because it causes your empathy skills to develop.

Who have you been mentoring lately?  Where have you benefited from this type of relationship?  What does this look like for the church (big C) in general?

We will hit the second part of this later this week. Have a great Monday!

Ok so I am usually pretty serious when I write so let me break away from that for a moment.

Being an ex therapist I about cried when I saw this clip on Jason’s blog.

I can’t tell you how many times I have wanted to do this

Michael, don’t get any ideas!

On the serious side counseling is very important.  If you are having problems I would love to talk with you but I want you to know something.  God wants you to “Stop it” because He loves you. So get help and be what you were called to be.

Bless ya’ll!

Well since there are different readers from different perspectives out there let me define discipleship.

Helping people become like Jesus.

Yeah, not a complicated definition huh?

So what I have been thinking about is how do I help people get from point A to point B.  If you are a Leafer that means “Leading People from where they are to where God wants them to be.” It’s what keeps me up at night and ticks me off when I see some of our attenders/members walk away from God even though they were going through the motions of discipleship.

That might mean they were in a group, taking a class through Oak Leaf University, or involved in a Volunteer Team.  Whatever it is, it reminds me of the mind set “here’s what we have to offer, you need to find your own way.”  It’s kind of passing someone the Duct Tape and sayin, “Knock yourself out.”

You know, in education Billions of dollars are spent on Exceptional Students (ESE).  They (the government) realize that a regular classroom & regular resources is not enough for everyone.  It is the same for the field of Psychiatric Medicine.  The book I was trained with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM 4) has 3Xs as many disorders as there are different divisions of Special Education. That means everyone does not do well with the same treatments and everyone needs to be seen as an individual.

So what does that mean for the church?

I got a hunch.  In the words of Gary Hamel, a brilliant guy,  he says, “Why in an economic downturn are businesses changing but the church is not?” According to Gary the church will die out if we do not change and address the needs of the people.

Now before you start to write something I fully believe that everyone needs to be changed by the gospel first.  Jesus has to take up the residency in us as Lord and our souls must be regenerated by the Holy Spirit.  But it is the process of what happens before & after that, which concerns me at the moment.

This is an ongoing thing that I will be writing about periodically but I would love to hear what you think?

Are we missing something in the church today when it comes to Discipleship?

Been reading Deuteronomy and just about finished up.  I am at the end of Moses’ life and at the beginning of Joshua’s term as leader of Israel.

Moses, possibly the greatest prophet of all time.

Had a great upbringing.  As Pharaoh’s son he had a great education, good food, fun, and maybe not an easy life but a secure one.  Little did he know that not too far away his family and people were living in slavery under horrible conditions.

I think about how at early middle age he had his conversion.  He saw the injustice of his people and when he acted out of anger he killed an Egyptian gaurd, fled the country and lived as a Shepherd for 40 yrs.  God found him, confirmed a conviction in his heart and sent him to free his people.

He got them out of Egypt by miracles performed by God.  Combated continuous idolatry by the people. Gave them the law (not just the 10 commandments). Lead them in battles against hostile city-states. Begged God not to kill the Hebrews when He had just about had enough. Then at the end of his life at 120 after 40 years of service was not allowed into the promise land because of past sins.

This leader of leaders had a rough life………….right?

Well, when you think of it he got a 1/3 of his life living as a prince and another 1/3 being secluded and left alone as a shepherd.  About 80 years of peace and quiet…

Yep, it’s all about perspective you see.  We associate with they guy.  We’re like, “Common God, that’s harsh.”  But how quickly we forget about the 80 yrs of being left alone and doing what he wants.

As leaders, I hate to say it, we like to complain.  We have a tendency to be like, “Woe is us…”  In reality it is a privilege and honor to serve God. We are not owed anything by God.  The fact that we live and breathe is because God blesses us with another day.  That is called grace freely given.  Doing works for earthly rewards is not too smart.

Next time you think about what a rough time you are having keep it in perspective.  Especially if you are a leader.  I venture to say that your life hasn’t always been rough.